What Will I Do With My “Mean While?”
What will I do with my “mean while?”
John 4:31 In the mean while his disciples prayed him, saying, Master, eat.
Our little-known English word liminal comes from the Latin word “limen,” meaning threshold. “A liminal space is an uncertain transition between where you’ve been and where you are going physically, emotionally, or metaphorically” (www.verywellmind.com). It is the transitional stage of a process. A liminal space can be brief, barely perceptible, and without real consequence such as passing down a hallway and stepping into a different room. An elevator is a liminal space, take you from one floor to another. Or it can be a long, protracted process which is distressing, overwhelming and confusing, as with me, learning to leave my old life behind and awaiting the outcome of my new life with chronic illness.
A steep stairway between houses in Freetown Sierra Leone. A liminal space taking one from the closely built houses, across to the market.
In the scriptural context cited, the “mean while” is most certainly a liminal space. Jesus had been dealing with the woman at the well; that’s where He’s been, and He is about to interact with the whole city of Sychar; this is where He’s headed. During that brief interlude of time between, He needs to give the disciples an important lesson to prepare them for what is coming next. It really is a parenthetical, a personal encounter just between Jesus and His disciples. That’s just what a liminal space is — a parenthetical.
That too is my liminal space. A parenthetical, a personal, private nearness between me and my Lord as He brings me from one place, a place of health, vitality, and activity, through a process, to new place of living with chronic illness. At times it really is quite beautiful as I can look back on it now with clearer vision and a brighter heart and mind. But my liminal space hasn’t always been beautiful. Not even close! It’s not as simple as walking through a door, leaving a “then” and entering a “now.” For me it is a complete redefining of who I am and learning how I continue to serve the Lord with my new me.
How I respond to my liminal space, my meanwhile, is up to me. I can make it a time of doubt, anxiety, and fear, which I have at times, but thankfully I don’t stay there! Or I can make it a time of expectancy and looking ahead, which, honestly, is more my norm. It’s a time of waiting and not knowing the future, where the familiar is left behind but the new existence is uncertain. The closeness, the quiet personal time I’ve developed with the Lord, though it come no other way, I wouldn’t trade. Even the very hard times have brought a closeness which is indescribable.
The other end of my meanwhile is yet unknown. My doctors are sorting through all of my complex symptoms and rare conditions, trying to find the best way to manage my debilitating symptoms. But on the other side of the threshold, a newly redefined me is waiting. And I, more than anything, want to use who I am at the end of this long liminal space for the Glory of God. But I also want my “mean while” to glorify the Lord too. It’s up to me how I respond.
Another liminal space. A road through the bush carrying the evangelism team from one village to another.
Amen dear sister! This is such an encouragement
I am continuing in prayer for you, your family, and the mission field in Sierra Leone.